Whether I care or not to admit it, I'm now at the age where people ask me if I have kids, and I can't look at them as if they're crazy because it's a completely legitimate question. My answer is always, "No, but I have a niece and nephew, and that's way more fun!"
I truly believe that all kids need to have a "cool, fun aunt." Since I'm not married and I don't have any rug rats of my own, that's exactly what I intend to be. If you think about it, being an aunt is the greatest thing in the world--you get to spoil the kids rotten and do all the fun stuff without the temper tantrums, terrible two's, disciplining, and diaper changing.
Speaking of diapers, it's important that I share a major milestone with you. At nearly 31 years old, I recently changed my first diaper. Yes, it's true, and if you know me, you'd realize how huge an accomplishment that is since I swore the first poopy diaper I ever changed would be that of my own child.
Mom says I should be embarrassed to admit that I've never changed a diaper, but being that I was always the youngest and never around kids other than the occasional babysitting job (which I refused to accept if the kids weren't potty trained), I don't think that's unusual at all. Why in the world would I volunteer to change someone else's baby's diaper?!
A few weeks ago when my brother and sister-in-law needed a babysitter for a few early-morning hours and no one else was available, I decided I was finally up for the challenge of diapering. I love my little niece more than anything in the world, so I figured I could suck it up and finally change a poopy diaper. I would only be alone with her for several hours, and how many times can one kid poop in the morning anyway? As often as I've seen others change diapers, I figured it would be a piece of cake (maybe that's not a good cliche to use here since we're talking about poop). Anyway, much to my surprise, it proved a bit more challenging than I realized.
I laid Tori down on the changing table while trying my hardest to breathe through my mouth. I must admit I cringed with dread as I undid the Velcro tabs on her diaper. "This is not so bad," I thought to myself. She wasn't that messy. In fact, it looked like round little rabbit pellets. (Sorry if that's too much info!) I lifted her legs up and grabbed the wipes, while trying to scoop up the dirty diaper, but a runaway turd rolled out and onto the table. Ewww! I tried scooping it up and getting it back in the dirty diaper while keeping Tori's legs extended straight up in the air. I must not lay the kid back down on the rabbit pellets. All the while, she was wrinkling her nose and crying, "Tinky, tinky!" Yes, I know it's stinky, baby--hold on. Since I only have two hands (I swear, you need at least three for this job!), I had difficulty getting the poopy diaper all wrapped up until after the wiping was done. As you can imagine, that caused the stench to linger in the air a little longer than either of us deemed necessary.
Finally, I got her cleaned up and put a new diaper on only to realize that I had it on backward as she whined "hurt, hurt." Come on, I thought this was supposed to be easy! I turned it around, powdered her little bottom, and fastened that sucker up as quickly as I could. Finally, mission accomplished. I did it! Now to get rid of the little ball of stink. All I have to say is, thank the Good Lord for the Diaper Genie. I opened the lid, dropped it in and Tori said, "Bye, bye stinky Mickey!" (Her diapers have Mickey Mouse on them.) Thank goodness I only had to change one diaper that day. I know the more you do something, the better you become at it, but I think changing diapers is something I'm not so sure I want to achieve expert status in. I love my niece and nephew, but I think I'm gonna stick to my potty-training rule before babysitting again.
Once Tori gets a bit older and can wipe her own little bottom, then lookout--'cause here we come! Tori will have a full day of fun with Aunty Cassie....and I bet there will be a trip to the shoe store, nail salon, and ice cream shop involved.
