Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Retail Therapy....It's Better Than Prozac

"Retail therapy"--two words that all women understand and can totally relate to.  I don't know what it is about going on a shopping spree and whipping out the MasterCard that makes you feel sooooo much better.  No matter what the problem--you just got dumped, you are depressed about your job, had a fight with your boyfriend, etc.--the mall is always there like a trusted friend with a shoulder to cry on.

One ride up the escalator, headed toward your favorite store is the equivalent of lying on a couch in a shrink's office....only in this case, you walk away with some sexy new stilettos and a pair of trendy jeans.  Basically, something to show for after your "therapy" session--other than a big, fat medical bill your insurance company probably won't cover anyway.  Plus, you just can't put a price on a "cute shoes!" compliment from a coworker or perfect stranger.

Now don't get me wrong--I'm not advocating spending a month's rent on the new miracle bra from Victoria's Secret and matching panties.  I'm just saying that a little bit of shopping does wonders for the heart and soul.  Heed some advice though...don't meet the girls for margarita Monday before hitting up the mall.  "Shopping under the influence" can get you into trouble as your judgment tends to be a bit impaired.  "Who cares if this eyeshadow pallet is $50 and I'm not completely out of my current one yet--it comes with a free gift AND I use these colors all the time."  (In case you're wondering, no, this has never happened to me before!)  Instead of waking up the morning after with a pounding headache and nausea, you wake up to a dose of reality and the notion that you will have to eat PB&J sandwiches for the next two weeks in order to make rent.  (I swore off ramen noodles once I graduated college.  I mean come on, I may be poor, but I have my limits!)

So the moral of this story is...the next time you get your heart broken, hop in the car and make a beeline to the nearest mall.  Shop with some sense of self control, but remember that in the end, it's only money.  Besides, those jeans make your butt look GOOD...and that's totally worth it!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Does Tan-from-a-bottle = Oompa Loompa??

As I sit here on my couch, waiting for my golden goddess-like tan to appear, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I don't come out looking ORANGE or striped.  I have to admit, I bought a bottle of Banana Boat Light/Medium lotion and used it twice over the past week.  So far, it actually looks pretty good if I do say so myself.  I think I've figured out a system by now, but I still worry each time I apply it that I'm going to end up looking like a character from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory (minus the green hair).

I've given up on tanning beds after spending a couple years working in the cosmetics industry.  Now you may think I'm shallow, but I really don't worry about getting skin cancer as much as I do about turning into a wrinkly "saddle bag."  Let's face it, I hate my freckles and freckles are SUN DAMAGE!  So this year, my tan will come from a little brown bottle, but hopefully, no one can tell by looking at me.  (Please pay no attention to my hands and bare feet.)