Sunday, February 12, 2012

Aunty = Awesome!

Whether I care or not to admit it, I'm now at the age where people ask me if I have kids, and I can't look at them as if they're crazy because it's a completely legitimate question.  My answer is always, "No, but I have a niece and nephew, and that's way more fun!"

I truly believe that all kids need to have a "cool, fun aunt."  Since I'm not married and I don't have any rug rats of my own, that's exactly what I intend to be.  If you think about it, being an aunt is the greatest thing in the world--you get to spoil the kids rotten and do all the fun stuff without the temper tantrums, terrible two's, disciplining, and diaper changing.

Speaking of diapers, it's important that I share a major milestone with you.  At nearly 31 years old, I recently changed my first diaper.  Yes, it's true, and if you know me, you'd realize how huge an accomplishment that is since I swore the first poopy diaper I ever changed would be that of my own child.

Mom says I should be embarrassed to admit that I've never changed a diaper, but being that I was always the youngest and never around kids other than the occasional babysitting job (which I refused to accept if the kids weren't potty trained), I don't think that's unusual at all.  Why in the world would I volunteer to change someone else's baby's diaper?! 

A few weeks ago when my brother and sister-in-law needed a babysitter for a few early-morning hours and no one else was available, I decided I was finally up for the challenge of diapering.  I love my little niece more than anything in the world, so I figured I could suck it up and finally change a poopy diaper.  I would only be alone with her for several hours, and how many times can one kid poop in the morning anyway?  As often as I've seen others change diapers, I figured  it would be a piece of cake (maybe that's not a good cliche to use here since we're talking about poop).  Anyway, much to my surprise, it proved a bit more challenging than I realized.

I laid Tori down on the changing table while trying my hardest to breathe through my mouth.  I must admit I cringed with dread as I undid the Velcro tabs on her diaper.  "This is not so bad," I thought to myself.  She wasn't that messy.  In fact, it looked like round little rabbit pellets.  (Sorry if that's too much info!)  I lifted her legs up and grabbed the wipes, while trying to scoop up the dirty diaper, but a runaway turd rolled out and onto the table.  Ewww!  I tried scooping it up and getting it back in the dirty diaper while keeping Tori's legs extended straight up in the air.  I must not lay the kid back down on the rabbit pellets.  All the while, she was wrinkling her nose and crying, "Tinky, tinky!"  Yes, I know it's stinky, baby--hold on.  Since I only have two hands (I swear, you need at least three for this job!), I had difficulty getting the poopy diaper all wrapped up until after the wiping was done.  As you can imagine, that caused the stench to linger in the air a little longer than either of us deemed necessary. 

Finally, I got her cleaned up and put a new diaper on only to realize that I had it on backward as she whined "hurt, hurt."  Come on, I thought this was supposed to be easy!  I turned it around, powdered her little bottom, and fastened that sucker up as quickly as I could.  Finally, mission accomplished.  I did it!  Now to get rid of the little ball of stink.  All I have to say is, thank the Good Lord for the Diaper Genie.  I opened the lid, dropped it in and Tori said, "Bye, bye stinky Mickey!"  (Her diapers have Mickey Mouse on them.)  Thank goodness I only had to change one diaper that day.  I know the more you do something, the better you become at it, but I think changing diapers is something I'm not so sure I want to achieve expert status in.  I love my niece and nephew, but I think I'm gonna stick to my potty-training rule before babysitting again. 

Once Tori gets a bit older and can wipe her own little bottom, then lookout--'cause here we come!  Tori will have a full day of fun with Aunty Cassie....and I bet there will be a trip to the shoe store, nail salon, and ice cream shop involved.

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